“To be able to contain, withstand and hold the aggression of your adolescents who push you away, you have to feel very secure – meaning that you have to feel pretty good about yourself as a parent, that you have given them everything, that you have been present enough. It comes from a security and I find today that many, many parents are not secure in their feelings that they have given their children enough.”
Episode Description: We begin with an overview of the stages of adolescence – exploration, declaration, and confirmation. We follow the threads of attachment and separation as they play out across these years. We consider the development of internal voices during this period, those that are benevolent and those that are harsh, as well as the manifestations of authentic and pseudo independence from their families. We discuss talking about sex and paying for good grades. Erica presents a clinical example of a teenager who is struggling and she shares with us some of the difficulties she faced in her own adolescence. We conclude with a glimpse into her third book on the impact of divorce on children.
Our Guest: Erica Komisar, LCSW is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for over 30 years. A graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and The New York Freudian Society, Ms. Komisar is a psychological consultant bringing parenting and work/life workshops to clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings. She is a contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The New York Daily News. She is a Contributing Editor to The Institute of Family Studies and appears regularly on Fox and Friends and Fox 5 News. Erica is the author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, and her second book, Chicken Little the Sky Isn’t Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety released in October 2021.
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